


Oikawa is alone at home

by Hoot_Hoot, rayleenejackson



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Gen, from real life to fiction, i love my friend but i still cant believe it, im serious, iwa is desperate, oikawa doesnt know how to cook
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 07:07:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 799
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6601531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hoot_Hoot/pseuds/Hoot_Hoot, https://archiveofourown.org/users/rayleenejackson/pseuds/rayleenejackson
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oikawa shouldn't be left alone at home.</p><p>Iwaizumi knows why.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Oikawa is alone at home

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so today me and Ray had this conversation. Basically I just copy-pasted it and added some Oikawa-ish and Iwa-ish things.
> 
> I was Iwa and she was Oikawa.
> 
> I seriously laughed too much, and I hope it will make you laugh too.
> 
> Enjoy!

 

 

 

 

 

Iwaizumi was lazily spinning around with his desk chair, avoiding the exercises he should be doing for the next day, when his phone buzzed.

 

**O_Oikawa:**

SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT SHIT

 

He frowned at the message, and then leaned against the back of the chair getting reading for the daily-trashy-problem. He had already surrendered to the fact that his friend would probably contact him every single day to yell about some new problem of his.

Oikawa had been living on his own for 3 months, and each day had an “Iwa-chan help me” moment in it.

 

**O_Oikawa:**

OKAY SO I SMELT SOMETHING WEIRD

AND I WENT TO GO LOOK

BUT I COULDNT FIND ANYTHING

AND THEN I TURN AROUND

AND MY KITCHEN IS FULL OF SMOKE

I FUCKING BURNT PLASTIC TRYING TO WARM UP MY DAMN SOUP

 

He wasn’t surprised about Oikawa getting in trouble.

 

How _the fuck was he able to burn plastic?!_

 

He furiously typed on the phone, getting his legs on the chair and crossing them.

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

ASSIKAWA YOU CAN'T STAY IN THE KITCHEN

YOU’RE NOT ALLOWED TO STAY IN THE KITCHEN

 

**O_Oikawa:**

I THINK I MIGHT DIE

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

IT'S EASY

DONT

GO

INTO

THE

KITCHEN

JUST DONT

 

**O_Oikawa:**

I FUCKED UP

I PUT PLASTIC ON THE STOVE

THE HOT STOVE

AND IT MELTED

AND FUCK ME

IM AN IDIOT

 

He stared at his phone, his mouth falling open.

 

Was it even possible?

 

_Did he really do that?!_

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

..........

OIKAWA

SERIOUSLY

 

**O_Oikawa:**

WHY DO PEOPLE TRUST ME HOME ALONE

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

_S E R I O U S L Y_

 

**O_Oikawa:**

IN MY DEFENSE THE STOVE SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ON

I COULDVE BURNT MY ARM

IM GLAD I JUST BURNT THE PLASTIC

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

YOU PUT _P L A S T I C_ ON THE STOVE

 

**O_Oikawa:**

NOL

NO

ILL SHOW YOU

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

NOL

 

**O_Oikawa:**

O_Oikawa sent a picture.     [1904xx1.jpg](https://gyazo.com/f926c20ebe32b87b1e3e91d13b7ff780)

O_Oikawa sent a picture.     [1904xx2.jpg](https://gyazo.com/5740b4fe0b244e63ade7ae7bbfff8884)

 

 **I** **wa-ch444n:**

OK

TRASHYKAWA WHAT THE HELL

IM LAUGHING SO HARD

 

He was laughing _really_ hard. He could almost hear the screeches of his friend looking at the mess he had created.

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

I don’t know if I should keep laughing

Or if I should be seriously concerned about you being alone at home

 

**O_Oikawa:**

I FUCKED UP

I JUST WANTED SOUP

BE CONCERNED

MY EYES ARE STINGING

AAND MY HOUSE STILL STICKS

AND IM IN MY LIVING ROOM WITH A TOWEL WAVING IT AROUND TRYING TO DIRECT SMOKE

 

He laughed so hard he fell down from the chair.

 

Oikawa waving a towel around while screeching was the best scenario ever.

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

I will write a book about you burning your house down

 

**O_Oikawa:**

Do it

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

"Oikawa is alone at home"

 

**O_Oikawa:**

MY HOUSE STILL SMELLS TERRIBLE

I JUST I

KILLED A FLOWER

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

OIKAWA STOP

 

**O_Oikawa:**

NO

I THINK ITS REFILLING WITH SMOKE

I NEED TO GO LIGHT A DAMN CANDLE NOW

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

WHAT IS HAPPENING

 

**O_Oikawa:**

I DONT KNOW

I DONT HAVE A LIGHTER

PROBABLY FOR THE BEST SINCE I CANT HANDLE HEAT

HWY THE FUCK IS THE STOVE TOP STILL HOT

SHOULDNT THE PLASTIC BE COOLED DOWN

ITS ALREADY INVADED MY HOME

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

LEAVE THE PLASTIC ALONE

 

**O_Oikawa:**

some guy just ran up the street screaming

MY HOUSE STILL SMELLS LIKE SHIT

I WANT TO LIGHT A CANDLE

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

DO YOU EVEN HAVE A CANDLE

 

**O_Oikawa:**

SHOULD I SPRAY PERFUME? OR WILL IT EXPLODE MY HOUSE? OR CAUSE A FIRE?

YES

I HAVE MANY

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

I DONT KNOW HOW IT WORKS

 

**O_Oikawa:**

OKAY WELL

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

OPEN THE WINDOWS FOR SOME AIR

 

**O_Oikawa:**

I DID BUT MY KITCHEN WINDOW IS JAMMED SHUT

IF I DIE IN A EXPLOSION

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

WHAT THE FUCK OIKAWA

 

**O_Oikawa:**

BE SURE TO TELL ME HOW THE NEXT ALIEN INVADERS FILM WILL END

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

LIKE HELL IDIOT

NOW TRY TO DO SOMETHING PRODUCTIVE

 

**O_Oikawa:**

SHIT

NOW MY HOUSE SMELLS LIKE A PERFUME STORE ON FIRE

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

A PERFUME STORE ON FIRE

 

**O_Oikawa:**

WELL IT DOES

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

I HOPE YOU CHOKE FOR EXCESSIVE SMELL

 

**O_Oikawa:**

IM STUCK IN HERE

WELL IM WATCHING SPACE SIGNALS

I GAVE UP ON THE WHOLE SMOKE THING

 

He rubbed his temples, trying to not think about Oikawa ignoring the smoke in his house in order to watch a fucking alien documentary.

 

He thought about something useful to do, and started scrolling down through the messages.

 

**O_Oikawa:**

okay so im watching episode 20 and the camera is panning across the lab's line and playing that dramatic ass music

and i thought i recognized it so i replayed it a few times

and then i shouted out something about alien dog

Iwa-chan stop ignoring me

 

**Iwa-ch444n:**

Sorry if I'm not answering but I'm sending all these screenshots to Makki and Matsun so they can also enjoy your housewife skills

 

**O_Oikawa:**

MEAN IWA-CHAN

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm still concerned about her. Like, really, how did you do that sweetie
> 
> I hope it made you laugh, even if just a little.
> 
> Thanks for reading!
> 
> Constructive criticism is well appreciated!
> 
> Wanna talk about Haikyuu? Come say hi to my Tumblr!  
> [Main blog (Tumblr)](http://megrez99.tumblr.com/)  
> [Writing blog (Tumblr)](http://hoot-hoot-drabbles.tumblr.com/)  
>  
> 
> Hoot hoot~


End file.
